Here are some delightful stories that highlight the humor and love that comes with living a long and interesting life. Good luck getting through this without laughing!

1. Grandpa Turns 100!

At Grandpa’s 100th birthday celebration, everyone marveled at how athletic and lean he looked.

“What’s your secret, Derek?” a guest asked.

“I’ll tell you,” Grandpa said, taking a forkful of cake. “I’ve been in the open air, day after day for some 75 years now.”

The crowd gasped.

“How did you keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?” someone asked.

“Well,” Grandpa began with a twinkle in his eye as he looked to Gran. “My wife and I made a pledge on our wedding night. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was wrong would go outside and take a walk!”

2. Grandpa’s Missing Teeth

Grandma and Grandpa sat in their porch rockers, watching the sunset and reminiscing about the good old days.

“Honey, do you remember when we first started dating, and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?” Grandma asked.

Grandpa smiled and took her aged hand in his.

With a wry smile, Grandma pressed further.

“Do you remember how after we were engaged, you’d sometimes lean over and kiss me on the cheek?”

Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.

Growing bolder still, Grandma said, “Do you remember how, after we were first married, you’d nibble on my ear?”

Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house.

Alarmed, Grandma asked, “Honey, where are you going?”

“To get my teeth!” Grandpa replied.

3. Dear Old George’s Annual Check-Up

Without fail, George went for his annual check-up every year. He prided himself on staying fit and healthy by going on walks in the neighborhood, though age had taken its toll on his eyesight.

After his check-up, George sat and chattered with his doctor, proudly telling Dr. Stephens about his latest discovery.

“Doc, I’m blessed,” he said. “God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I’m done!”

The doctor chuckled, but a nagging curiosity led him to call George’s wife later that day.

“Maria,” he said. “Your husband’s test results are just fine. But he said something strange! He claims that God turns the lights on and off for him when he uses the bathroom at night.”

George’s wife laughed out loud.

“That old fool! He’s been peeing in the refrigerator again! I thought it was the dog!”

These stories remind us that grandparents, with their decades of life, thousands of memories, and laughter to last a lifetime, are invaluable. They teach us lessons in the most unexpected ways, and their humor, often unintentional, keeps us smiling.

Whether it’s through their forgetfulness or their unique approach to life’s challenges, grandparents show us that aging gracefully includes plenty of room for laughter.

Source: amomama

They’re talking and catching each other up in their lives since leaving high school.

One tells the other she’s been married 4 times.

“4 times, you’ve had 4 husbands!”

“Yes. My 1st husband was a banker, my 2nd husband was an actor, after that was a rabbi, and my current husband is an undertaker.”

“That’s really weird you went for such a strange variety of men. Why did you marry them?”

“I had a purpose for that… 1 for the money 2 for the show 3 to get ready And 4 to go”

The dispatcher answers

“911, what is your emergency?”

“There appear to be two men rummaging through my shed.”

“A breaking and entering? We’ll have an officer over in an hour.”

“An hour? But they won’t be here in an hour. They’re breaking and entering now.”

“Ma’am, no officers are available right now. We’ll send a squad car in an hour.”

The old lady hangs up, then calls back a few minutes later.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“I’m the lady who called about the two men breaking into my shed. You don’t have to send anyone. They are unconscious now and something happens to them .”

Within a few minutes, there are police all over her yard.

The men are apprehended, and the commanding-officer-on-scene goes up to take the woman’s statement.

“One other thing… I thought you told the 911 dispatcher that you had sh*t the men?”

“And I thought the 911 dispatcher had told me that there were no officers available.”

…noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.

The doctor told them to start writing things down so they wouldn’t forget.

They went home and the old woman told her husband to bring her a bowl of ice cream. “She said, “You might want to write this down.

He said, “No, I remember that you wanted a bowl of ice cream.

So the wife told her husband that she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. “Write that down,” she said to him.

“No, no, I remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream,” he said again.

Then the old woman said she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. She said to her husband, “Write that down.

Again he said, “No, I understand. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

He went to get the ice cream and spent an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes.
He comes to his wife and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

The old woman looks at the plate for a while, then looks at her husband and asks,

“Where’s the toast?”

The first son, who had made it big in life, bought his old mom a beautiful big house.

The second son bought his mom a fabulous big car.

The third son, knowing his elderly mother was very devout, searched and searched for something appropriate until eventually, he came across an extremely rare parrot that could recite the entire bible and explain all of its prophecies.

However, the bird was in Madagascar and what’s more, it was extremely expensive.

So after much thought, he decided to sell up his house and car, travel and buy the parrot for his dear old mom.

Sometime later the old lady is writing to her 3 sons.

To the first son, she writes:

“Thank you so much for the lovely big house, that was so kind. However it’s really too big for me, I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to sell it and buy a bungalow.”

To the second son, a similar letter was sent, saying the car was too big and would be exchanged for something smaller.

To the third son, she wrote:

“Ah now you know what was closest to my heart, thank you so much for the chicken it was delicious!

It’s a miracle they remembered the appointment!

Anyway, the doctor starts by asking “Eddie, what is five times five”?

“191”, is Eddie’s reply.

The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says,

” Jenkins it’s your turn, what is five times five”?

“Wednesday”, replies Jenkins.

The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man,

“Okay Martin it’s your turn. What’s five times five”?

“Twenty five”, says Martin.

“That’s great Martin!” says the doctor. “How did you get your answer”?

“Easy”, says Martin, “just subtract 191 from Wednesday”.

Source: viralgfdiy