As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.

At one point, she said, “Mommy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, “Mommy gonna eat your fingers!” pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, “What’s wrong honey?”

“Mommy, where’s my booger?”

SEE MORE: Four Guys Are At A High School Reunion And One Of Them Goes To The Restroom

A blonde man called an airline customer service desk

A blonde man called an airline customer service desk asking if it was possible to fly with his dog on board.

“Sure,” the airline agent said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”

She continued to explain that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was perplexed, “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

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“Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy. He ordered some.

He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.

“Wait a minute,” the boy said. “Those don’t look fat-free.”

“Sure they are,” the cook said. “We charge only for the potatoes. The fat is free!”

Indian warrior decided to change his name

Indian warrior decided to change his name and went to the Registry of BDM (birth, death, marriages).

He approaches the counter and talks to the lady at the counter.

Indian: “Hello miss. I would like to change my name if it is possible.”

Lady: “Of course, sir, but why would you do that?”

Indian: “Well you see my name is Sharp Arrow Flying Across the Field at Great Speed Hitting the Bison and the Bison Falls Down Dead. As you see it is too long and I’m tired of pronouncing it,
I would like to change it to something shorter.”

Lady: “Alright, sir, so what is the name that you would like to change to?”

Indian (makes sound with mouth): “Pew.”

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