“Sir, common decency and my basic sense of honor would never permit me to accept a gift like that.”

The contractor said:

“I quite understand. Suppose we do this: I’ll sell you the car for ten dollars.”

The official thought for a moment and said:

“In that case, I’ll take two.”

‘Dad, what are you talking about?’ the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says.

“We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell, they’re getting divorced!”

She shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced.

Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. ‘Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way.’

Source: funnyhours