{"id":77074,"date":"2024-08-16T14:07:04","date_gmt":"2024-08-16T07:07:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=77074"},"modified":"2024-08-16T14:07:41","modified_gmt":"2024-08-16T07:07:41","slug":"when-i-got-cancer-everyone-brought-food-i-finally-told-them-what-i-really-wanted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/when-i-got-cancer-everyone-brought-food-i-finally-told-them-what-i-really-wanted\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018When I Got Cancer, Everyone Brought Food. I Finally Told Them what I Really Wanted\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 id='\"h-hogan-s-form-of-cancer\"' class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>Hogan\u2019s Form of Cancer\n<figure class='\"wp-block-image' aligncenter size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-159927\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_1643374129.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_1643374129.jpg' https: alt='\"Close' up of female hand with trendy manicure pushing buttons on modern ultrasound medical equipment while doing health inspection for beautiful woman naked breast. concept medicine width='\"1000\"' height='\"667\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock\n<p>\u201cTo feed people is to nurture them. And when the rug is ripped out from under someone you deeply love, there\u2019s very little you can do to take their pain away,\u201d\u00a0explains\u00a0Julie Devaney Hogan. A mom of 3, who was diagnosed with stage 3\u00a0breast cancer, a condition called ductal carcinoma. This type of cancer affects the milk ducts and often comes with no symptoms. However,\u00a0MayoClinic\u00a0explains there are occurrences in which symptoms can include breast lumps or abnormal nipple discharge.\n</p><h2 class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>Risk Factors for \u201c<em>Milk Duct\u201d Cancer\n<figure class='\"wp-block-image' aligncenter size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-158988\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_1942278202.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_1942278202.jpg' https: alt='\"Computer' screen in hospital radiology room: beautiful multiethnic adult woman standing topless undergoing mammography screening procedure. showing the mammogram scans of dense breast tissues. width='\"1000\"' height='\"563\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock\n<p>Several risk factors increase the likelihood of cancer. Some well-known, include getting older or\u00a0genetic predisposition. Meanwhile, lesser-known risks include, never having been pregnant, having your first baby after age 30, or beginning menopause after age 55. Generally, cancer screenings are recommended to be done between ages 30-40. This may vary depending on the individual\u2019s health and risk factors.\n</p><h2 class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>Shifting Focus\n<div class='\"wp-block-image\"'>\n<figure class='\"aligncenter' size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-159929\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_18970564.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_18970564.jpg' https: alt='\"\"' width='\"1000\"' height='\"669\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock\n\n<p>Her\u00a0cancer diagnosis\u00a0came at 37 years old afterlife had allowed her to enter a high-power career, marry her husband, and create a family of 3 beautiful children. Hogan shares that although for many, a cancer diagnosis might symbolize a loss of self, she\u2019s actually had the opportunity to find herself.\n</p><p>She\u2019s taken time off work, been present with her kids, and even managed to cook a few meals before beginning cancer treatments. Cancer, and other big life-changing moments, put a new perspective on things. As such, comes an opportunity to reflect on what\u2019s truly important to us.\n</p><h2 class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>Food to Console the Soul\n<figure class='\"wp-block-image' aligncenter size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-159931\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_2291054809.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_2291054809.jpg' https: alt='\"Young' woman with cancer sitting after doing yoga in her apartment. width='\"1000\"' height='\"667\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock\n<p>Hogan shares that within days of her diagnosis, support, advice, or questions came flooding in. People offered rides to cancer treatment. They offered meals and well-intentioned advice, including introductions to people who\u2019d gone through similar challenges. Yet, all she wanted,<em>\u00a0\u201cwas to build a cocoon within my home and swat people away from it.\u201d\n<p>As Hogan navigated the waters of respectfully and politely declining offers for help, she never really got the chance to check in with herself and her family about what would provide them the most support during an emotional, scary, and confusing time. However, one day, her friend took a moment to check in. Hogan explains,\u00a0<em>\u201cA close friend asked me a question that hit me differently:<em>\u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not bringing you food. What do you actually want?\u201d I realized that no one had asked me that question.\u201d She then shares her response,\u00a0<em>\u201cHonestly, I want you to take me for a walk on the beach.\u201d\n<h2 class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>Assessing Personal Needs\n<div class='\"wp-block-image\"'>\n<figure class='\"aligncenter' size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-159934\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_1681615300.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_1681615300.jpg' https: alt='\"\"' width='\"1000\"' height='\"667\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock\n\n<p>That question sat with her, and after some time she realized, she didn\u2019t want to reject the love and support flowing in, she just didn\u2019t want that, \u201c<em>to come in the form of food.\u201d She sat down and wrote a long\u00a0<a href="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/docs.google.com%5C/document%5C/d%5C/1KWII4FKc73_WABNB3vItQdSHLc6EozUVdEKPgo1MF4s%5C/edit?usp=sharing%5C%22" target='\"_blank\"' rel='\"noopener\"'>letter\u00a0to her support system, explaining what she and her family needed during her cancer treatment. Furthermore, she also thoughtfully explained what her family did not need.\n<h2 class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>Conscientiously Speak About Cancer\n<figure class='\"wp-block-image' aligncenter size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-159936\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_2342909051.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_2342909051.jpg' https: alt='\"Serious' empathetic mom listening to sad frustrated teenage daughter kid at home giving comfort support compassion love child discussing kids problems bulling on sofa width='\"1000\"' height='\"667\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock\n<p>Firstly, she addresses her children. Like most parents, her hope is to ensure this process is as easy for her kids as possible. Sadly, there\u2019s no way to take away all of the fear or sadness. However, she explains they chose to be selective in the language they used with their children. Giving examples, such as, \u201cThe tone in our home is\u00a0<em>\u201cMom is healing,\u201d not \u201c<em>Mom is sick,\u201d and we talk about cancer as \u201c<em>Barb\u201d and the treatment as \u201c<em>Margot.\u201d\n<h2 class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>Have Some Fun\n<figure class='\"wp-block-image' aligncenter size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-159938\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_2349259845.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_2349259845.jpg' https: alt='\"Happy' family strolling in nature all together. happy joyful mother father and little children walking on green grass a beautiful park sunny summer evening width='\"1000\"' height='\"660\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock<br>\nOther\u00a0recommendations\u00a0for helping children deal with grief and cancer might\u00a0include, taking them on a fun outing. This will both give them a little joy and help take their mind off the challenges of the day. Hogan shares that her family has a schedule for treatment days. However, they\u2019re always open to scheduling some fun for the kids with their loved ones.Secondly, Hogan explains their family needs positivity. Examples of this include, \u201cputting a positive thought into the universe for us, however, you choose to do so.\u201d and being a\u00a0<em>\u201cbeach buddy\u201d.\u201c<em>My goal is to stay as active as possible on the good days and to get out to the local beaches\/trails for walks (and give Dave a break from taking care of me!).\u201d\u00a0she explains.\n<p>She also emphasizes music has been a big part of the cancer-healing process for her family. In fact, she and her husband have created a playlist they listen to during appointments, and encouraged their loved ones to add to it, anything \u201c<em>to help us stay strong, positive &amp; motivated.\u201c\n<h2 class='\"wp-block-heading\"'>NOT is Just as Important\n<figure class='\"wp-block-image' aligncenter size-full><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"wp-image-159940\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/theheartysoul.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/07%5C/shutterstock_1874168116-1.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/theheartysoul.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/shutterstock_1874168116-1.jpg' https: alt='\"No' sign gesture. closeup portrait unhappy young beautiful arab woman wearing knitted sweater standing against red background raising fore finger up saying no. negative emotions facial expressions. width='\"1000\"' height='\"668\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption class='\"wp-element-caption\"'>Source: Shutterstock\n<p>Lastly, she shares what their family does NOT need. She explains this is\u00a0<em>\u201cequally as important\u201d. \u201c<em>Writing what we didn\u2019t want was an incredibly helpful exercise. It gave us the opportunity to express our gratitude to the amazing people wanting to help us. While simultaneously sharing our honesty about what wouldn\u2019t help us.\u201d\u00a0Hogan disclosed.\n<p>She says her family doesn\u2019t need food. While meal trains can be incredibly helpful to some, for others, it\u2019s just a reminder that things are out of balance. \u201c<em>Cooking for and feeding people is something Dave and I love to do together, and we have a really special routine around feeding our family that is important to us to continue. Personally, feeding my kids gives me a ton of purpose,\u201d she explained.\n<p>Next, they don\u2019t need the well-intentioned introductions. For some, hearing the stories of others can be a helpful reminder that they are not alone. However, we all grieve in different ways. That means others may prefer to navigate, step by step, at their own pace.\u00a0<em>\u201cWhen we\u2019re ready to talk to and learn from others, trust us, we will ask! We are not there yet. Thank you for understanding.\u201d\u00a0Hogan shared.\n<p>Lastly, she assures all who are concerned, that she doesn\u2019t need a ride. She and, her husband, Dave \u201care a team\u201d. This means they plan to go through every step of fighting the cancer, together. \u201cWe are planning to tackle all of my treatments together. We\u2019re beyond appreciative of people who have volunteered to take me, but this will be something Dave and I do together each week,<em>\u201c\u00a0Hogan explained.\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hogan\u2019s Form of Cancer Source: Shutterstock \u201cTo feed people is to nurture them. And when the rug is ripped out from under someone you deeply love, there\u2019s very little you can do to take their pain away,\u201d\u00a0explains\u00a0Julie Devaney Hogan. A mom of 3, who was diagnosed with stage 3\u00a0breast cancer, a condition called ductal carcinoma. &hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":77076,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[404],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77074","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-and-fitness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77074","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77074"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77074\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":77077,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77074\/revisions\/77077"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/77076"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77074"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77074"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77074"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></em></p></em></p></em></p></em></em></p></figcaption></figure></h2></em></p></em></em></figcaption></figure></h2></em></em></em></em></p></figcaption></figure></h2></a></em></p></figcaption></figure></div></h2></em></em></em></p></em></p></figcaption></figure></h2></figcaption></figure></div></h2></figcaption></figure></em></h2></figcaption></figure></h2>