{"id":77253,"date":"2025-01-23T15:00:19","date_gmt":"2025-01-23T08:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=77253"},"modified":"2025-02-20T16:11:14","modified_gmt":"2025-02-20T09:11:14","slug":"my-daughter-and-i-have-a-code-word-what-happened-yesterday-is-why-you-should-have-one-with-your-loved-ones-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/my-daughter-and-i-have-a-code-word-what-happened-yesterday-is-why-you-should-have-one-with-your-loved-ones-too\/","title":{"rendered":"My Daughter and I Have a \u2018Code Word\u2019 \u2013 What Happened Yesterday Is Why You Should Have One with Your Loved Ones Too"},"content":{"rendered":"<h5>This experience reminded me why having a code word is crucial for keeping our kids safe.\n</h5><p>When I was a child, my mother taught me to use a code word if I ever found myself in trouble and couldn\u2019t speak openly about it. As an adult, I decided to pass on this life-saving trick to my daughter. I figured she might use it to avoid an awkward sleepover or uncomfortable hangout. Never did I imagine she\u2019d need to use it so soon.\n</p><p>Yesterday started like any other day, or so I thought. As I sat in the kitchen, finishing my evening coffee, my phone rang. It was my ex-husband, Dave. Our once warm and affectionate relationship had become strained over the years, as divorce often does. We tried to maintain civility for our daughter, Amy, but tension was always there.\n</p><p>\u201cHey, Claire,\u201d Dave\u2019s voice was hesitant. \u201cAmy wants to talk to you. She\u2019s been asking to tell you about her day since she got here.\u201d\n</p><p>This caught me off guard. Amy usually enjoyed her weekends with her dad and rarely called me during those visits. \u201cOh, sure, put her on,\u201d I replied, keeping my voice steady, though I felt a knot forming in my stomach.\n</p><p>\u201cHi, Mom!\u201d Amy\u2019s voice was cheerful, but something in her tone didn\u2019t sit right with me. I listened closely, picking up on an unusual undercurrent in her usually light-hearted chatter.\n</p><p>\u201cHey, sweetie! How\u2019s your weekend going? Having fun?\u201d I asked, trying to keep the conversation upbeat.\n</p><p>\u201cYeah, it\u2019s been good. We went to the park yesterday, and I drew some pictures this morning. I drew a dog, a tree, and\u2026 I wish I had a blue marker so I could draw blueberries.\u201d\n<figure id='\"attachment_18200\"' aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-18200\"' style='\"width:' class='\"wp-caption' aligncenter><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-18200 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/echowoven.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2025%5C/02%5C/My-Daughter-and-I-Have-a-Code-Word0-scaled-1.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"2560\"' height='\"1707\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-18200\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>Image for illustrative purposes only.\n<p>The word \u201cblueberries\u201d hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart skipped a beat. Amid her innocent conversation, Amy had slipped in our secret code word. I froze, trying to stay calm. The word meant \u201cget me out of here immediately.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cThat sounds great, honey. I\u2019m coming to get you. Please don\u2019t say anything to your father. I\u2019ll explain when I get there.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cDid you have anything else you wanted to tell me?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cNo, that\u2019s it,\u201d she said sweetly, but I sensed an underlying fear in her voice. I knew I had to get her out of there.\n</p><p>\u201cI\u2019ll see you soon, okay?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cOkay, Mom. Love you.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cLove you too, my Amy Wamy.\u201d I heard her giggle as I hung up the phone, but my hands were trembling. What could have happened? Dave had always been a good father. But something was clearly wrong. I grabbed my keys and headed to his place, determined to bring Amy home.\n<figure id='\"attachment_18202\"' aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-18202\"' style='\"width:' class='\"wp-caption' aligncenter><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-18202 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/echowoven.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2025%5C/02%5C/My-Daughter-and-I-Have-a-Code-Word23-scaled-1.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"2560\"' height='\"1707\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-18202\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>Image for illustrative purposes only.\n<p>When I arrived and knocked on the door, I was surprised to be greeted by a woman I didn\u2019t recognize. She looked at me with a mix of curiosity and annoyance.\n</p><p>\u201cCan I help you?\u201d she asked curtly.\n</p><p>\u201cI\u2019m here to pick up my daughter. Is Dave home?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cHe just stepped out to run some errands, but Amy\u2019s inside. Who are you?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cI\u2019m Claire, Amy\u2019s mom,\u201d I replied, trying to keep my cool. \u201cAnd you are?\u201d\n</p><p>The woman\u2019s expression hardened. \u201cI\u2019m Lisa, Dave\u2019s girlfriend. We\u2019ve been living together for a few weeks now.\u201d\n</p><p>I blinked, shocked. Dave had never mentioned having a girlfriend, let alone living with someone. Why hadn\u2019t Amy said anything about this before? But now wasn\u2019t the time for questions. I needed to get my daughter out of there.\n</p><p>\u201cWell, Lisa, I just remembered Amy has a doctor\u2019s appointment tomorrow morning, and there are some things we need to go over beforehand,\u201d I lied, forcing a smile. \u201cI forgot to mention it to Dave, but I\u2019ll bring her back later.\u201d\n</p><p>Lisa didn\u2019t seem convinced but didn\u2019t argue. \u201cFine, but I\u2019ll tell Dave.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cOf course,\u201d I said, stepping into the house. Amy was curled up on the couch, coloring in a book. Her face lit up when she saw me, but I noticed the relief in her eyes.\n</p><p>\u201cHi, sweetie,\u201d I said, keeping things light. \u201cWe need to prepare for the doctor tomorrow, remember?\u201d\n</p><p>Amy nodded, clutching her book. She didn\u2019t say a word as we left the house. Lisa watched us go, but she didn\u2019t stop us. Once we were in the car and driving away, I glanced at my daughter.\n</p><p>\u201cYou okay, baby?\u201d I asked gently.\n<figure id='\"attachment_18198\"' aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-18198\"' style='\"width:' class='\"wp-caption' aligncenter><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-18198 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/echowoven.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2025%5C/02%5C/My-Daughter-and-I-Have-a-%5Cu2018Code-Word2-scaled-1.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"2560\"' height='\"1707\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-18198\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>Image for illustrative purposes only.\n<p>Amy nodded at first, but then the tension melted away, and she started to cry. \u201cMom, Lisa\u2026 Lisa is mean to me when Dad isn\u2019t around.\u201d\n</p><p>My heart sank. \u201cWhat do you mean, sweetie?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cShe says I\u2019m annoying and that I shouldn\u2019t be there. She told me if I told Dad, he wouldn\u2019t believe me because I\u2019m just a kid. She said I should stay in my room and not bother them.\u201d\n</p><p>Anger flared inside me. How dare this woman, a stranger in my daughter\u2019s life, treat her this way?\n</p><p>\u201cAmy, you did the right thing by telling me. I\u2019m so proud of you,\u201d I said, trying to stay calm. \u201cYou don\u2019t ever have to be around her again if you don\u2019t want to. I\u2019ll talk to your dad, and we\u2019ll figure this out, okay?\u201d\n</p><p>Amy nodded, wiping her tears. \u201cOkay, Mom.\u201d\n<figure id='\"attachment_18201\"' aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-18201\"' style='\"width:' class='\"wp-caption' aligncenter><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-18201 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/echowoven.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2025%5C/02%5C/My-Daughter-and-I-Have-a-Code-Word1-scaled-1.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"1978\"' height='\"2560\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-18201\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>Image for illustrative purposes only.\n<p>When we got home, I hugged Amy tightly, reassuring her of my love. Once she was settled with her favorite stuffed animal, I called Dave. He answered on the third ring.\n</p><p>\u201cHey, Claire, did something happen? Lisa said you picked up Amy?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cYes, something happened,\u201d I replied, barely containing my anger. \u201cAmy used our code word today, Dave. She wanted to leave because Lisa has been saying awful things to her when you\u2019re not around.\u201d\n</p><p>There was a long silence. \u201cWhat? That can\u2019t be right\u2026 Lisa wouldn\u2019t\u2014\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cShe did, Dave. Amy was in tears by the time we got in the car. She\u2019s scared of your girlfriend and didn\u2019t know how to tell you, so she told me the only way she could.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cI\u2019m sorry. I had no idea. I\u2019ll talk to Lisa. This isn\u2019t okay.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cNo, it\u2019s not,\u201d I agreed, my voice softening. \u201cBut what\u2019s more important is Amy. She\u2019s the one we need to focus on.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cYou\u2019re right,\u201d Dave said, sounding defeated. \u201cI\u2019ll handle it. I promise.\u201d\n</p><p>After hanging up, I sat on the couch, emotionally drained. This wasn\u2019t how I\u2019d imagined my weekend, but I was glad Amy felt safe enough to use our code word. It made all the difference.\n</p><p>Then and there, I decided Amy needed a phone. I knew technology could be tricky, but it would give her a direct way to reach me.\n<figure id='\"attachment_18199\"' aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-18199\"' style='\"width:' class='\"wp-caption' aligncenter><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-18199 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/echowoven.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2025%5C/02%5C/My-Daughter-and-I-Have-a-%5Cu2018Code-Word3-scaled-1.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"1710\"' height='\"2560\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-18199\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>Image for illustrative purposes only.\n<p>Reflecting on the day, I realized how crucial it is for parents to have a code word with their children. It offers them a safe way to communicate when they can\u2019t speak openly. But choosing the right code word is essential.\n</p><p>First, avoid common words that might come up in conversation, like \u201cschool\u201d or \u201cbirthday.\u201d You don\u2019t want to cause unnecessary alarm. The word should be unique and not easily guessed.\n</p><p>Second, consider a short phrase if your child is old enough. Something like \u201csunshine forest\u201d or \u201cdancing penguin\u201d adds an extra layer of security. Make sure your child can recall it easily, even under stress.\n</p><p>Lastly, practice using the code word in different scenarios so your child feels confident and prepared if they ever need it.\n<figure id='\"attachment_18206\"' aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-18206\"' style='\"width:' class='\"wp-caption' aligncenter><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-18206 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/echowoven.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2025%5C/02%5C/My-Daughter-and-I-Have-a-Code-Wordthumb-1.png%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"700\"' height='\"875\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-18206\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>Image for illustrative purposes only\n<p>Our experience was a powerful reminder of how a simple plan can make a big difference. I hope by sharing our story, other parents will consider creating a code word with their children. It might just be the tool they need in a critical moment.\n</p><p><em><strong>Note: This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.\n<p>Sources: Amomama.com; fitbodymedia\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"</p><p>This experience reminded me why having a code word is crucial for keeping our kids safe. When I was a child, my mother taught me to use a code word if I ever found myself in trouble and couldn\u2019t speak openly about it. As an adult, I decided to pass on this life-saving trick to &hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":101572,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1439],"tags":[730,648,1375,351],"class_list":["post-77253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stories","tag-daughter","tag-mother","tag-password","tag-safety-tips"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77253","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77253"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77253\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":101573,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77253\/revisions\/101573"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/101572"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77253"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77253"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77253"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></strong></em></p></figcaption></figure></p></figcaption></figure></p></figcaption></figure></p></figcaption></figure></p></figcaption></figure></p></figcaption></figure></p>