{"id":78929,"date":"2024-08-30T14:33:50","date_gmt":"2024-08-30T07:33:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=78929"},"modified":"2024-08-30T14:33:50","modified_gmt":"2024-08-30T07:33:50","slug":"i-was-never-the-favorite-child-now-i-refuse-to-help-my-parents-after-they-gave-my-sister-a-house","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/i-was-never-the-favorite-child-now-i-refuse-to-help-my-parents-after-they-gave-my-sister-a-house\/","title":{"rendered":"I Was Never the Favorite Child \u2014 Now I Refuse to Help My Parents After They Gave My Sister a House"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

He\u00a0explained\u00a0what happened.\n\n
\n

I\u00a0(33M) have always had a\u00a0complicated relationship with my\u00a0parents. Growing\u00a0up, my\u00a0younger sister, Lily (30F), was clearly the favorite. They were more lenient with her, gave her more opportunities, and supported her financially in\u00a0ways they never did for\u00a0me.\n

I\u00a0accepted it\u00a0over the years, figuring it\u00a0was just the way things were.\n\n

\n
\"\"\n
\u00a9 cottonbro studio \/ Pexels\n\n\n
\n

A\u00a0few months ago, my\u00a0parents decided to\u00a0downsize and move into a\u00a0smaller home. Instead of\u00a0selling their current house, which is\u00a0the one we\u00a0grew up\u00a0in, they decided to\u00a0give it\u00a0to\u00a0Lily. They said she \u201cneeded it\u00a0more\u201d because she\u2019s starting a\u00a0family\u00a0and could use the space. They didn\u2019t offer me\u00a0anything\u2014not even a\u00a0conversation about\u00a0it.\n

This hit me\u00a0hard, especially since my\u00a0wife and\u00a0I are also planning to\u00a0buy a\u00a0home soon, and we\u00a0could\u2019ve really used some help. When I\u00a0brought this up\u00a0to\u00a0my\u00a0parents, they brushed it\u00a0off and said Lily has always been the one who \u201cneeded\u201d more support. I\u00a0told them\u00a0I felt hurt and left out, but they just acted like\u00a0I was being selfish.\n\n

\n
\"\"\n
\u00a9 Matheus Bertelli \/ Pexels\n\n\n
\n

Fast-forward to last week: my parents reached out asking if I could help them with some renovations on their new place. They want me to spend several weekends doing repairs and helping them move, all without any compensation or even acknowledgment of how unfair this situation feels to me.\n

I told them no, that I was not willing to help after the way they handled giving away the house. They were shocked and accused me of being petty and ungrateful. Lily also chimed in, saying I\u2019m causing unnecessary drama and making everything about me.\n

Now, my parents are barely speaking to me, and some extended family members have reached out, telling me I\u2019m overreacting and that I should just help them out because “family comes first.”\n\n

\n

People stood on\u00a0his side.\n\n
\n
    \n
  • \n
      \n
    • \u201cI love when family who treat you like an afterthought think that ignoring you is some kind of punishment and not the actual gift that it is. Tell everyone who gives you that \u2018family comes first\u2019 line that you\u2019re happy to let your parents know that they\u2019re willing to help them out instead. See how fast they drop the \u2018family comes first\u2019 line then.\u201d\u00a0TheSassiestPanda\u00a0\/ Reddit\n
    • \u201cLily feels that way because she\u2019s the only person who benefited from their completely one-sided gift. Then going low contact is truly going to be what\u2019s best right now for your mental health. You owe them nothing. Lily can help now that she doesn\u2019t have to\u00a0pay a\u00a0mortgage payment.\u201d\u00a0United-Manner20\u00a0\/ Reddit\n
    • \u201cTell them to have your sister help them out. They should fix it right, being she is the golden child. Move on with your wife and leave them behind because it\u2019s all toxic and no need to have her in your life. Have peace, create a new family with your wife and enjoy your life.\u201d Upset_Structure3547 \/ Reddit\n\n\n\n\n
      \n

      He\u00a0then talked to\u00a0his parents.\n\n
      \n

      Unfortunately, the conversation didn\u2019t go as I\u2019d hoped. My parents were immediately defensive. My mom insisted that they had every right to do what they wanted with their property and that I should be more understanding of Lily\u2019s needs. My dad doubled down, saying that they were just doing what was best for the family and that I was being selfish for making this about myself. They refused to acknowledge any favoritism or the impact their decision had on me.\n\n

      \n
      \"\"\n
      \n
      \n
      \u00a0\u00a9 Olya Afanasyeva \/ Pexels\n\n\n\n\n

      As\u00a0for Lily, when\u00a0I confronted her, she basically dismissed my\u00a0feelings. She told me\u00a0she didn\u2019t see what the big deal was and accused me\u00a0of\u00a0trying to\u00a0stir up\u00a0drama. She said that if\u00a0the roles were reversed, she wouldn\u2019t be\u00a0upset and implied that\u00a0I was overreacting. I\u00a0tried to\u00a0explain how it\u00a0felt to\u00a0be\u00a0overlooked for so\u00a0long, but she just shrugged it\u00a0off and told me\u00a0to\u00a0move\u00a0on.\n

      \n
      \"\"\n
      \n
      \n
      \n\n\n\n\n
      \u00a9 Meysam Jarahkar \/ Unsplash\n\n