{"id":79624,"date":"2024-09-06T10:10:48","date_gmt":"2024-09-06T03:10:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=79624"},"modified":"2024-09-06T10:10:48","modified_gmt":"2024-09-06T03:10:48","slug":"my-husband-and-i-wanted-to-have-an-open-relationship-but-neither-of-us-could-have-predicted-this-would-happen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/my-husband-and-i-wanted-to-have-an-open-relationship-but-neither-of-us-could-have-predicted-this-would-happen\/","title":{"rendered":"My Husband and I Wanted To Have an Open Relationship, but Neither of Us Could Have Predicted This Would Happen"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Monica and her husband had been very happy with their open marriage.\n\n
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Monica, 33, has sent\u00a0us a\u00a0letter and told\u00a0us her story, in\u00a0order to\u00a0get a\u00a0piece of\u00a0advice from our readers about her quite complicated\u00a0family\u00a0situation.\n
The woman started her letter, saying, \u201cI\u00a0have an\u00a0open\u00a0relationship\u00a0with my\u00a0beloved husband, Todd. We\u00a0have been married for 5\u00a0years and the last 2\u00a0years we\u00a0have been in\u00a0an\u00a0open marriage. We\u00a0both find it\u00a0very satisfying, because this type of\u00a0relationship helps\u00a0us preserve the spirit of\u00a0freshness in\u00a0our relations.
\nI\u00a0can\u2019t say\u00a0I was very fond of\u00a0this idea when it\u00a0was first suggested by\u00a0Todd. I\u00a0did hesitate a\u00a0lot, but finally, I\u00a0found more benefits in\u00a0an\u00a0open marriage than drawbacks. None of\u00a0us is\u00a0a\u00a0jealous person, but we\u00a0do\u00a0appreciate honesty in\u00a0any type of\u00a0communication. This arrangement was from the start considered a\u00a0temporary one, and we\u00a0agreed that we\u2019ll get back to\u00a0a\u00a0traditional marriage as\u00a0soon as\u00a0one of\u00a0us finds an\u00a0open relationship uncomfortable and unsettling.\u201d\n\n
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Monica appeared to\u00a0be\u00a0in\u00a0a\u00a0very awkward situation.\n\n
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Monica goes on\u00a0with her story, saying, \u201cEverything was fine between\u00a0us. Last December, I\u00a0started to\u00a0see another guy, and we\u00a0hit it\u00a0off, and we\u00a0dated each other regularly. My\u00a0husband also had a\u00a0woman he\u00a0was seeing regularly, and we\u00a0both were still in\u00a0love with each other. Last month, I\u00a0found out\u00a0I was pregnant with twins, and they\u2019re my\u00a0secondary partner\u2019s babies.\u201d\n
\u201cI\u00a0need to\u00a0add that\u00a0I was on\u00a0birth control. I\u00a0didn\u2019t expect such a\u00a0turn, honestly. It\u00a0took me\u00a0some time to\u00a0wrap my\u00a0head around things and finally tell my\u00a0husband. At\u00a0first, Todd was absolutely supportive, and he\u00a0even said, \u2018I\u00a0love you honey, and these babies are a\u00a0part of\u00a0you, so\u00a0I will love them with all my\u00a0heart, too.\u2019\n
I\u00a0was so\u00a0pleasantly surprised with his reaction! I\u00a0must mention that during all this time\u00a0I had a\u00a0number of\u00a0health issues, mostly with my\u00a0reproductive system. I\u00a0was told that\u00a0I would be\u00a0unlikely to\u00a0conceive, for me\u00a0this was a\u00a0real chance to\u00a0be\u00a0a\u00a0mom, and\u00a0I was happy about\u00a0it.\u201d\n\n
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Everything is\u00a0getting just worse in\u00a0the family.\n\n
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Monica revealed, \u201cRecently, my\u00a0husband changed his mind about the babies after realizing that the father wasn\u2019t just going to\u00a0walk away from the kids. Todd said he\u00a0would be\u00a0okay with it\u00a0as\u00a0long as\u00a0the biological father of\u00a0the twins wasn\u2019t going to\u00a0be\u00a0a\u00a0part of\u00a0their lives. For background, my\u00a0husband\u2019s mother had him as\u00a0a\u00a0teenager, and he\u00a0has been raised by\u00a0a\u00a0stepdad for his entire\u00a0life\u00a0and has an\u00a0estranged relationship with his biological father.\u201d\n
The woman added, \u201cAlthough Todd had a\u00a0stepdad, he\u00a0always wanted his biological father to\u00a0play a\u00a0bigger role than he\u00a0did. I\u00a0don\u2019t understand how he\u00a0cannot relate to\u00a0the situation and expect the kids to\u00a0want nothing to\u00a0do\u00a0with their biological father.\u201d\n\n
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The family is\u00a0in\u00a0a\u00a0big conflict now and the woman is\u00a0desperate.\n\n
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Monica revealed, \u201cTodd has recently planted the seed that with these kids in\u00a0our life we\u00a0will never be\u00a0happy. At\u00a03\u00a0am yesterday morning, he\u00a0left me\u00a0a\u00a0letter before leaving on\u00a0a\u00a0business trip that said\u00a0I have to\u00a0choose, either it\u2019s the babies or\u00a0divorce.\u201d\n
Monica confessed, \u201cI feel so conflicted because what if this is the only time I can have babies. I couldn\u2019t conceive in years, and what if it never happens again. This is the factor that has made things so difficult for me. I need advice so badly, and I can\u2019t make up my mind on how to live with Todd and have babies at the same time.\u201d\n\n
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This is\u00a0a\u00a0difficult situation, and we\u00a0decided to\u00a0find out what people think about\u00a0it:\n
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Firstly, she needs to\u00a0know for sure who the father is\u00a0before making a\u00a0decision. It\u00a0doesn\u2019t say how she knows for definite. Three of\u00a0them need to\u00a0sit and discuss the way forward as\u00a0adults. The husband may need counselling regarding his upbringing, but this shouldn\u2019t stop him from being able to\u00a0bring up\u00a0the twins and be\u00a0a\u00a0father to\u00a0them. They could have two Dads and be\u00a0really happy.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0Fiona Paterson\u00a0\/ Facebook\n
Open marriage is\u00a0the thin edge of\u00a0the wedge to\u00a0divorce.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0Robin Dixon\u00a0\/ Facebook\n
Kids. No\u00a0question about that. Husbands like this one are expendable, kids are not. If\u00a0their bio dad is\u00a0willing to\u00a0do\u00a0what\u2019s right, who knows where that may lead? May be\u00a0to\u00a0a\u00a0new family with healthier dynamics?\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0Marina Marinova\u00a0\/ Facebook
\nWhat you expect? Divorce and live your own life. An\u00a0open marriage is\u00a0not the answer to\u00a0anything. It\u00a0will be\u00a0doomed. Figure it\u00a0out, your mess you clean it\u00a0up\u00a0but get right with the marriage. If\u00a0not, move\u00a0on. You all wasn\u2019t happy together if\u00a0you got to\u00a0have it\u00a0open and sleep around.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0Tacey Ann\u00a0\/ Facebook\n
Open marriage? Am\u00a0sorry. Not a\u00a0great idea. Either you\u2019re in\u00a0or\u00a0you\u2019re out you can\u2019t have the best of\u00a0both worlds, can\u2019t have your cake and eat\u00a0it, too. Now, that you\u2019re pregnant from another man, from another affair, time to\u00a0dignify your situation, get out of\u00a0your marriage, and settle down with the baby Daddy. Just my\u00a0opinion. Take it\u00a0or\u00a0leave\u00a0it.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0Amanda Buencamino Maniquis\u00a0\/ Facebook\n
The babies are innocent in\u00a0all this. They are a\u00a0gift from God. With or\u00a0without the babies, the marriage is\u00a0over. Keep the babies, otherwise you will have no\u00a0husband nor any babies. It\u00a0was your life, your choice, so\u00a0be\u00a0an\u00a0adult and accept responsibility for your actions.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0Richard Verhaeghe\u00a0\/ Facebook\n\n
Any marriage, whether open or\u00a0closed, can collapse in\u00a0an\u00a0instant. Here is\u00a0the\u00a0story\u00a0of\u00a0another woman who revealed her real income to\u00a0her husband and now they are on\u00a0the verge of\u00a0divorce.\n
Preview photo credit\u00a0Pickpik\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Monica and her husband had been very happy with their open marriage. Monica, 33, has sent\u00a0us a\u00a0letter and told\u00a0us her story, in\u00a0order to\u00a0get a\u00a0piece of\u00a0advice from our readers about her quite complicated\u00a0family\u00a0situation. The woman started her letter, saying, \u201cI\u00a0have an\u00a0open\u00a0relationship\u00a0with my\u00a0beloved husband, Todd. We\u00a0have been married for 5\u00a0years and the last 2\u00a0years we\u00a0have been in\u00a0an\u00a0open …\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":79625,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[642],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moral-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79624"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":79626,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79624\/revisions\/79626"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79625"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}