{"id":79795,"date":"2024-09-09T08:56:15","date_gmt":"2024-09-09T01:56:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=79795"},"modified":"2024-09-09T08:56:15","modified_gmt":"2024-09-09T01:56:15","slug":"i-ignored-my-dads-birthday-and-didnt-buy-him-a-gift-but-i-have-a-good-reason-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/i-ignored-my-dads-birthday-and-didnt-buy-him-a-gift-but-i-have-a-good-reason-to\/","title":{"rendered":"I Ignored My Dad\u2019s Birthday and Didn\u2019t Buy Him a Gift \u2014 But I Have a Good Reason to"},"content":{"rendered":"

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He\u00a0explained\u00a0what happened.\n\n
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Ever since I (16m) was a little kid I got my dad a birthday gift with the help of my (surrogate) grandparents. My mom died when I was 2 so it was me and dad for a lot of years. Dad and I used to be really close.\n\n
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\u00a9\u00a0Vlada Karpovich \/ Pexels\n
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Then when\u00a0I was 10\u00a0he met Jen and he\u00a0met her kids who were 18\u00a0months and 3\u00a0years old at\u00a0the time. Dad and Jen fell in\u00a0love pretty fast and they moved in\u00a0together a\u00a0few months after they met. Jen was divorced and her kids\u2019 dad wasn\u2019t around. So\u00a0my\u00a0dad decided he\u00a0needed to\u00a0step up\u00a0and be\u00a0a\u00a0good dad to\u00a0them. He\u00a0told me\u00a0things would change but\u00a0I was still his son and he\u2019d make time for\u00a0me. But ever since he\u00a0decided Jen\u2019s kids were going to\u00a0be\u00a0his, he\u00a0let me\u00a0down a\u00a0lot.\n
It started with us having plans and him having to cancel because one of the kids was sick. Then it was they had a play or a game he needed to be there for. Or it was they had decided to have one of the kids\u2019 birthday parties early and dad needed to be there. But he wasn\u2019t doing the same for me. When I got sick he\u2019d send me to my grandparents or expect me to stay with Jen while he did something with Jen\u2019s kids. If I had something on he\u2019d apologize for missing it and would say he had plans with Jen\u2019s kids.\n\n
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\u00a9 freepik \/ Freepik\n\n\n\n
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Oh, and the big thing that makes me\u00a0mad is\u00a0for the last 6\u00a0years (almost) he\u00a0gives Jen\u2019s kids credit and thanks them too when\u00a0I buy him a\u00a0gift. Even when\u00a0I tell him it\u2019s from only\u00a0me. He\u00a0talks about it\u00a0being teamwork to\u00a0get him that.\n\n
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\u00a9\u00a0Porapak Apichodilok \/ Pexels\n
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I\u00a0tried talking to\u00a0Dad. He\u00a0admitted he\u00a0let me\u00a0down. He\u00a0told me\u00a0he\u00a0was afraid of\u00a0Jen\u2019s kids feeling rejected if\u00a0he\u00a0were to\u00a0cancel with them for\u00a0me. That he\u00a0didn\u2019t want them to\u00a0feel like he\u00a0loved me\u00a0more when all three of\u00a0us were equal. I\u00a0told him he\u00a0cares more about them and he\u00a0asked how\u00a0I could say that after 10\u00a0years of\u00a0having all his attention. He\u00a0asked me\u00a0to\u00a0think about the kids whose bio dad walked out on\u00a0them and who could feel really unwanted if\u00a0he\u00a0were to\u00a0let them down.\n
I told him I didn\u2019t care about them or their feelings or whether they felt loved and wanted. I told him I didn\u2019t feel loved and wanted. I feel resentful of the fact he gives them credit for my gifts, he cancels on me for them, but won\u2019t give the same back. He told me he couldn\u2019t change it but he could try to let me down less. I told him he was putting them ahead of me and I told him I was done. He can enjoy having two kids instead of three.\n\n
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\u00a9\u00a0Kindel Media \/ Pexels\n\n\n\n
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He\u00a0didn\u2019t think\u00a0I would follow through. This big talk happened back in\u00a0April. Dad\u2019s birthday was yesterday and\u00a0I didn\u2019t join in\u00a0on\u00a0any of\u00a0the celebrations and\u00a0I got him nothing. I\u00a0didn\u2019t even say happy birthday. I\u00a0knew they were going out for the day but\u00a0I didn\u2019t go\u00a0and\u00a0I knew ahead of\u00a0time. When they got home Dad was upset because\u00a0I was on\u00a0the couch playing video games. He\u00a0told me\u00a0he\u2019d missed\u00a0me. Jen told me\u00a0I had hurt my\u00a0dad and was behaving like a\u00a0child instead of\u00a0a\u00a016-year-old.\n\n
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People stood on\u00a0his side.\n\n
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\u201cIt\u00a0is\u00a0sorta petty but you tried with grown-up talk and it\u00a0didn\u2019t work out. It\u00a0was a\u00a0powerful move to\u00a0show him how he\u00a0makes you feel all the time. It\u00a0is\u00a0okay to\u00a0accept stepkids, as\u00a0he\u00a0should\u00a0\u2014 but he\u00a0obviously put them ahead of\u00a0you. Soon you will be\u00a0old enough to\u00a0move out and forget about all of\u00a0them.\u201d\u00a0anya-444\u00a0\/ Reddit\n
\u201cAs\u00a0soon as\u00a0you said \u2019He said he\u00a0would try to\u00a0let you down LESS\u2019 it\u00a0just meant he\u00a0wasn\u2019t going to\u00a0stop ignoring you and forgetting you exist. You tried to\u00a0deal with it\u00a0maturely and he\u00a0got whiney when you treat him the way he\u00a0treats you.\u201d\u00a0mother-of-dragons13\u00a0\/ Reddit\n
\u201cYou are a\u00a0child. One that\u2019s been abandoned by\u00a0his father, despite the fact you live in\u00a0the same home as\u00a0him. You\u2019ve done all that you can to\u00a0communicate your hurt to\u00a0him. Now it\u2019s time to\u00a0protect your heart. He\u00a0may come back to\u00a0you soon and promise change. Believe only his actions. I\u2019d recommend you get therapy for yourself. You\u2019ve been through a\u00a0lot, losing your mother and then being emotionally abandoned by\u00a0your father, and you will need help to\u00a0process this.\u201d\u00a0Pleasant-Koala147\u00a0\/ Reddit\n\n\n
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\u00a9\u00a0cottonbro studio \/ Pexels\n
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\u201cI\u00a0would tell your father that the feeling of\u00a0sadness that he\u00a0had on\u00a0his birthday, you have felt for many years, that day he\u00a0was in\u00a0your place\u00a0If you want your father to\u00a0understand how much this affects you, maybe you should try talking to\u00a0him again. Maybe even seek help from a\u00a0psychologist if\u00a0possible. Talking in\u00a0a\u00a0calm environment where both parties can express their feelings and experiences can help find a\u00a0solution that works for everyone.\u201d\u00a0ninaisnau*ty\u00a0\/ Reddit\n
\u201cIt\u2019s kind of ironic how he became a hero dad to his stepchildren but a bad dad to you. That\u2019s just not how it works. He might save the other kids, but he became an absent father to yours and for the stepmom to meddle by telling you you\u2019re acting like a child, she has no right to say so and she should\u2019ve just let the two of you talk.\u201d kyravalentina_ \/ Reddit\n
\u201cIf\u00a0you\u2019re open to\u00a0still having a\u00a0relationship with your dad, I\u2019d suggest asking him whether you could all attend family therapy, but\u00a0I wouldn\u2019t be\u00a0surprised if\u00a0you\u2019re just done with the situation at\u00a0this point.\u201d\u00a0laughinglovinglivid\u00a0\/ Reddit\n\n\n
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The author\u2019s decision, rooted in\u00a0personal growth and a\u00a0need for emotional distance, underscores the importance of\u00a0understanding and respecting individual boundaries within\u00a0family relationships. While it\u00a0may have been a\u00a0difficult choice, it\u00a0was ultimately a\u00a0necessary one, highlighting that sometimes, the best way to\u00a0show love and care is\u00a0by\u00a0prioritizing one\u2019s well-being.\n
Preview photo credit\u00a0freepik \/ Freepik,\u00a0Ok_Mills_48 \/ Reddit\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
He\u00a0explained\u00a0what happened. Ever since I (16m) was a little kid I got my dad a birthday gift with the help of my (surrogate) grandparents. My mom died when I was 2 so it was me and dad for a lot of years. Dad and I used to be really close. \u00a9\u00a0Vlada Karpovich \/ Pexels Then …\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":79797,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[642],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-79795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-moral-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=79795"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":79888,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/79795\/revisions\/79888"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/79797"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=79795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=79795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=79795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}