{"id":80123,"date":"2024-09-10T16:53:50","date_gmt":"2024-09-10T09:53:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=80123"},"modified":"2024-09-10T16:53:50","modified_gmt":"2024-09-10T09:53:50","slug":"funny-seniors-breakfast-special","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/funny-seniors-breakfast-special\/","title":{"rendered":"Funny: Seniors Breakfast Special"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding='\"async\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/timelesslife.info%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/09%5C/FB-Seniors-Breakfast-Special.png%5C%22" alt='\"\"' title='\"\"'>\n</p><p>We went to breakfast at a restaurant.\n</p><p>The Seniors Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.\n</p><p>\u201cSounds good,\u201d my wife said. \u201cBut I don\u2019t want the eggs.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cThen I\u2019ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you\u2019re ordering \u00e0 la carte,\u201d the waitress warned her.\u201cYou mean I\u2019d have to pay for not taking the eggs?\u201d my wife asked incredulously.\n</p><p>\u201cYES!\u201d stated the waitress.\n</p><p>\u201cI\u2019ll take the special then,\u201d my wife said.\n</p><p>\u201cHow do you want your eggs?\u201d the waitress asked.\u201cRaw and in the shell,\u201d my wife replied.\n</p><p>She took the two eggs home.\n</p><p>Don\u2019t mess with seniors!\n</p><p><img decoding='\"async\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/timelesslife.info%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2023%5C/01%5C/8-1.png%5C%22" alt='\"\"' title='\"\"'>\n</p><p>A woman was driving through the countryside late at night when her car broke down.\n</p><p>About a mile down the road, she came to an old farmhouse. Two elderly men came out.\n</p><p>\u201cCan we help ya, miss?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cYes, my car broke down about a mile back. Could you drive me to the nearest town so I can get a tow truck?\u201d\u201cThe town\u2019s all shut up right now, but we can take you in the morning. You can spend the night with us.\u201d\n</p><p>The woman thought: \u201cWell, I really don\u2019t have a choice. Besides, I can handle myself.\u201d So she agreed.\n</p><p>\u201cYou know, miss, we\u2019ve only got one bed in this house, so you\u2019ll have to sleep with us\u2026\u201d\n</p><p>The woman thought to herself that she liked the look of these two country boys, and consented to sleep with them.\n</p><p>As they were taking their clothes off, the woman said,\n</p><p>\u201cBy the way, you DO have protection, don\u2019t you?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cProtection? What\u2019s that?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cYou know, cond0ms.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cWell, what\u2019re they for?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cIt\u2019s so I don\u2019t get pregnant.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cWe\u2019re simple country folk, miss. I\u2019m afraid we don\u2019t know about those things.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cWell, it just so happens that I have two here in my purse. Here, put them on.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cHmm\u2026 well, alright,\u201d they said.\n</p><p>The three of them got into bed and did their thing all night. The next morning, the brothers drove the woman into town, where she got her car repaired, blew them a kiss, and drove off.\n</p><p>About a month later, the two elderly brothers were sitting out on their porch watching the sunset, looking sweaty and uncomfortable. Suddenly, one of them turns to the other and says\n</p><p>\u201cEd, do you remember that lady that drove through here about a month ago?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cYep. She was really good, wasn\u2019t she?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cYep.\u201d\n</p><p>Say, do you really care if she gets pregnant?\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cNot really.\u201d\n</p><p>\u201cWell, then, let\u2019s take these darn things off!\u201d\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"</p><p>We went to breakfast at a restaurant. The Seniors Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. \u201cSounds good,\u201d my wife said. \u201cBut I don\u2019t want the eggs.\u201d \u201cThen I\u2019ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you\u2019re ordering \u00e0 la carte,\u201d the waitress warned her.\u201cYou mean I\u2019d have &hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":80124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[676],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-80123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80123"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":80126,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80123\/revisions\/80126"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p>