{"id":81533,"date":"2024-09-19T08:44:35","date_gmt":"2024-09-19T01:44:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=81533"},"modified":"2024-09-19T08:44:35","modified_gmt":"2024-09-19T01:44:35","slug":"my-mil-ruined-the-birth-of-my-son-but-it-was-actually-my-husband-who-let-me-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/my-mil-ruined-the-birth-of-my-son-but-it-was-actually-my-husband-who-let-me-down\/","title":{"rendered":"My MIL Ruined the Birth of My Son, but It Was Actually My Husband Who Let Me Down"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='\"e599d42b92530cddc130' d678c9ac111a6390ff29>\n<p>\u00a0Unfortunately, that had a negative impact on the birth and the woman now blames her husband for what happened. Still in shock, she turned to\u00a0social media\u00a0to\u00a0vent and ask for advice.\n</p><div class='\"da6593441928737fb4a6\"' data-test-id='\"article-content\"'>\n<div class='\"fe475c3f28885ceec1f1\"' tabindex='\"-1\"'>\n<div data-test-id='\"article-image-1\"'><picture class='\"b10992b7e7307cb7c32f\"'><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' id='\"image27961705\"' class='\"e33ce0f82f0e7404cc63\"' title='\"\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li%5C/resize%5C/728x%5C/jpg%5C/bd5%5C/59a%5C/b431d053369d8bdb738f9655a5.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"728\"' height='\"907\"'>\n<div class='\"bf0a2e8fd2dd44f1e1c9\"'>\n<div>\n<div>\n\n<div>\n<div class='\"d4cd5e4d1c37eb7b6e0b' d6e6c99797533fcec215 data-test-id='\"article-image-1\"'>\n<div class='\"a6462aa5ffcd6c76e41f' b7455aa58c4067faa6bf title='\"Share' on facebook data-test-id='\"share-button-facebook\"'>\u00a9\u00a0DCStudio \/ Freepik\n<div class='\"f0545a74f7ee64f642bb' b7455aa58c4067faa6bf title='\"Share' on whatsapp data-test-id='\"share-button-whatsapp\"'>She\u00a0wrote:\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class='\"e599d42b92530cddc130' d678c9ac111a6390ff29>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m still pretty shocked about what happened 4\u00a0days ago.\n</p><p>I\u2019ve never got on\u00a0with my\u00a0mother-in-law and have probably met her about 10\u00a0times since I\u2019ve been with my\u00a0partner. My\u00a0MIL has never liked\u00a0me, and it\u2019s obvious (she doesn\u2019t speak to\u00a0me, she ignores\u00a0me, she leaves me\u00a0out, if\u00a0she does speak to\u00a0me, it\u2019s to\u00a0say something derogatory).\n</p><p>She started being a\u00a0bit nicer when my\u00a0partner and\u00a0I found out\u00a0I was expecting. She was very excited for her first grandchild, and we\u00a0finally had something she would talk to\u00a0me\u00a0about. She asked my\u00a0partner several times if\u00a0she could be\u00a0in\u00a0when\u00a0I gave birth. That was a\u00a0firm\u00a0no, and\u00a0I didn\u2019t think about it\u00a0again really until she stormed into the delivery room.\n</p><p>I\u00a0was in\u00a0active labor by\u00a0then, and she suddenly appeared out of\u00a0nowhere. I\u2019m an\u00a0incredibly shy and anxious person, and\u00a0I could not bring myself to\u00a0ask her to\u00a0leave myself. I\u00a0know this is\u00a0terrible. I\u00a0presumed my\u00a0partner would ask her to\u00a0leave. He\u00a0didn\u2019t.\n</p><p>Whenever I had an examination I said it was time to go, instead she left the room insisting my partner went with her, so I was alone, and then they would return a bit later. She stayed for hours and I started to feel like I needed to push, but I desperately did not want to push with her in the room. Eventually I just told my partner it was time to ask her to leave, my MIL looked furious. He did, though, and she left.\u201d\n\n</p><div class='\"fe475c3f28885ceec1f1\"' tabindex='\"-1\"'>\n<div data-test-id='\"article-image-4\"'><picture class='\"b10992b7e7307cb7c32f\"'><source srcset='\"https:\/\/wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li\/resize\/728x\/webp\/52d\/321\/30793f58c482f08bcc69453186.jpg.webp' type='\"image\/webp\"'></source><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' id='\"image27961706\"' class='\"e33ce0f82f0e7404cc63\"' title='\"\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li%5C/resize%5C/728x%5C/jpg%5C/52d%5C/321%5C/30793f58c482f08bcc69453186.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"728\"' height='\"410\"'>\n<div class='\"bf0a2e8fd2dd44f1e1c9\"'>\n<div>\u00a9\u00a0DCStudio \/ Freepik\n<div>\n<div class='\"d4cd5e4d1c37eb7b6e0b' d6e6c99797533fcec215 data-test-id='\"article-image-4\"'>\n\n\n<section class='\"d17df1a8ad4a418bd28a' be4f2b8f955c4fc8bea6 data-id='\"27961706\"'>\n<div class='\"e98cf7c6464e2e984a41\"'>\n<div class='\"aed62af27ad9dd3e8c03' ed99307b75b012ec4c7a e2efe1fd378420e9f526>\n<div class='\"d2e9be9853b74c32d4d7\"' data-test-id='\"new-comment-editor\"'>\n<div class='\"d10f0e848414f3f0b260\"'>\n<form class='\"bc5d2f670964baf0d1df\"' data-test-id='\"comment-editor-form\"'>\n<div class='\"ce9be2020e1a2a183cb6\"' data-test-id='\"actions-block\"'>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class='\"e599d42b92530cddc130' d678c9ac111a6390ff29>\n<p>&ldquo;Fast forward to\u00a0an\u00a0hour later, the baby was not coming out no\u00a0matter how hard\u00a0I pushed and things had started to\u00a0get panicky in\u00a0the delivery room. I\u00a0ended up\u00a0on\u00a0my\u00a0hands and knees in\u00a0the least dignified position, and then MIL came back into the room. I\u00a0was mortified. My\u00a0partner had to\u00a0get her to\u00a0leave again.\n</p><p>The pushing wasn\u2019t working, and we\u00a0ended up\u00a0in\u00a0theater. It\u00a0ended up\u00a0being a\u00a0forceps delivery which was extremely traumatic, and I\u2019ve had more stitches than\u00a0I even feel comfortable with saying. In\u00a0theater, people kept coming in\u00a0and saying that my\u00a0MIL was trying to\u00a0get\u00a0in. When we\u00a0came out of\u00a0the theater, more people came and said she was trying to\u00a0get in\u00a0to\u00a0see the baby. I\u00a0was horrified. My\u00a0partner didn\u2019t think it\u00a0was as\u00a0bad as\u00a0I was making out.\n</p><p>I\u00a0allowed visits the next day and my\u00a0mom came first (I\u00a0made sure of\u00a0that) and my\u00a0MIL came slightly later because\u00a0I told her the wrong visiting times, so\u00a0my\u00a0mom could meet the baby first (I\u00a0know that\u2019s childish, but\u00a0I felt like after what happened it\u00a0was the last thing\u00a0I could do\u00a0to\u00a0get my\u00a0own back). MIL wasn\u2019t happy she wasn\u2019t the first to\u00a0meet the baby.\n</p><p>Four days later and MIL asks every day to\u00a0come and see the baby, but I\u2019m absolutely furious at\u00a0what she did. I\u2019m also trying to\u00a0establish\u00a0<a title='\"breastfeeding\"' href="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/brightside.me%5C/tags%5C/breastfeeding%5C/%5C%22" data-link='\"tag\"' target='\"_blank\"' rel='\"noopener\"'>breastfeeding, and I\u2019m anxious and vulnerable, and\u00a0I don\u2019t want her around. She keeps telling my\u00a0partner I\u2019m mean and horrible, keeping her away from the baby. I\u00a0don\u2019t know what to\u00a0do.\n<p>I\u2019ve spoken to\u00a0my\u00a0partner about\u00a0it, but\u00a0I haven\u2019t pushed it\u00a0about how upset I\u00a0am about it\u00a0all because I\u2019m trying to\u00a0enjoy time with my\u00a0baby. I\u00a0feel really let down by\u00a0him for not sticking up\u00a0for me\u00a0more and keeping her out properly. I\u00a0feel confused about medical staff not keeping her away when\u00a0I said\u00a0I didn\u2019t want her in\u00a0there.\n</p><p>One of the midwives said to me after the birth that the reason the labor went so badly was probably a lot to do with how stressful I was finding it having MIL in the room when I didn\u2019t want her there, and honestly, I feel like that\u2019s true.&rdquo;\n\n</p><div class='\"a7a009a2bc69238836f2' dbd3833dbc73d3acd29b>\n<aside class='\"ca17a89d1f9c34c777a4\"' data-test-id='\"advert-d-inread-r-2\"' data-adunit-type='\"d-inread-r-2\"' data-adunit-started='\"true\"' data-state='\"rendered\"'>\n<div id='\"advert_4\"' class='\"ba77251e8836b46a7232\"' data-google-query-id='\"CPSPiLrwzYgDFefKFgUdAxslhQ\"'>\n<div id='\"google_ads_iframe_\/21702212373\/br-d-inread-r-2_0__container__\"'>\n\n\n\n<div class='\"fe475c3f28885ceec1f1\"' tabindex='\"-1\"'>\n<div data-test-id='\"article-image-7\"'><picture class='\"b10992b7e7307cb7c32f\"'><source srcset='\"https:\/\/wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li\/resize\/728x\/webp\/fc3\/822\/0ff2ce569ca814ec44db0279a4.jpg.webp' type='\"image\/webp\"'></source><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' id='\"image27961707\"' class='\"e33ce0f82f0e7404cc63\"' title='\"\"' src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li%5C/resize%5C/728x%5C/jpg%5C/fc3%5C/822%5C/0ff2ce569ca814ec44db0279a4.jpg%5C%22" alt='\"\"' width='\"728\"' height='\"753\"'>\n<div class='\"bf0a2e8fd2dd44f1e1c9\"'>\n<div>\u00a9\u00a0DCStudio \/ Freepik\n<div>\n<div class='\"d4cd5e4d1c37eb7b6e0b' d6e6c99797533fcec215 data-test-id='\"article-image-7\"'>\n<div class='\"a6462aa5ffcd6c76e41f' b7455aa58c4067faa6bf title='\"Share' on facebook data-test-id='\"share-button-facebook\"'>\n\n\n\n\n\n<div class='\"e599d42b92530cddc130' d678c9ac111a6390ff29>\n<p>People in\u00a0the comments were quick to\u00a0share their opinion and advice on\u00a0how the new mom should proceed, as\u00a0well as\u00a0express their unconditional support for her.\n\n</p><div class='\"e599d42b92530cddc130' d678c9ac111a6390ff29>\n<ul>\n<li>Ask the midwife to\u00a0talk to\u00a0your husband. Have her explain how your MIL\u2019s selfishness could have harmed both you and your child. Have her explain how much smoother the birth would have been without the stress of\u00a0someone invading your hospital room against your wishes.<br>\nWhat she did was despicable. Birth is\u00a0a\u00a0medical procedure, and she had no\u00a0right or\u00a0reason to\u00a0be\u00a0there. This needs to\u00a0be\u00a0explained to\u00a0your husband, and she should not be\u00a0allowed around you or\u00a0your child until you have recovered from the trauma, and she has sincerely apologized. If\u00a0you never feel comfortable having her around your child, that is\u00a0absolutely understandable and your husband will just have to\u00a0deal.\n</li><li>If\u00a0she was this comfortable smashing through your boundaries like this, consider what she\u2019ll do\u00a0when told not to\u00a0feed the baby a\u00a0certain thing or\u00a0not kiss the baby\u2019s face. She has absolutely no\u00a0respect\u00a0for you, and she will not respect your parenting choices.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0MaddTheSimmer\u00a0\/ Reddit\n\n\n<div class='\"c9651ae372cb2ea108a5' a7a009a2bc69238836f2 dbd3833dbc73d3acd29b>\n<aside class='\"ca17a89d1f9c34c777a4\"' data-test-id='\"advert-d-inread-3\"' data-adunit-type='\"d-inread-3\"' data-adunit-started='\"true\"' data-state='\"rendered\"'>\n<div class='\"f5404ebf8cd5437b33d6' c8d44fe6e497120eb20e>\n<div class='\"e29066b3f7e15ac18b87\"'>\n<ul>\n<li>I\u2019d have a\u00a0talk with your husband about how your MIL\u2019s actions affected you (stressing you out, causing difficulties with the labor, making you feel vulnerable, etc). Share what the midwife said as\u00a0well. She completely disrespected you at\u00a0one of\u00a0your most vulnerable moments and had absolutely zero regard for the consequences that had on\u00a0you. He\u00a0needs to\u00a0be\u00a0the one to\u00a0lay down the law with his mother and tell her to\u00a0act like an\u00a0adult or\u00a0be\u00a0content with watching her grandchild grow up\u00a0via Facebook photos.<br>\nShe can\u2019t be\u00a0trusted to\u00a0respect your wishes, and that\u2019s going to\u00a0extend to\u00a0how you and your husband choose to\u00a0parent your child. The boundaries have to\u00a0be\u00a0set NOW and, since it\u2019s his mother, it\u00a0needs to\u00a0come from him. You two are a\u00a0team, and he\u00a0needs to\u00a0have your back. I\u2019d also keep her at\u00a0a\u00a0distance until things settle down, if\u00a0you can.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0AltruisticBathroom\u00a0\/ Reddit\n</li><li>I\u2019m a\u00a0breastfeeding support worker, and it\u00a0is\u00a0imperative that you are not stressed for the first few weeks of\u00a0breastfeeding. If\u00a0your mother-in-law is\u00a0causing you stress, then you shouldn\u2019t have her there, whether your husband agrees or\u00a0not.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0justnognomes\u00a0\/ Reddit\n</li><li>That\u2019s terrible. No\u00a0wonder you are traumatized and furious. I\u00a0think it\u00a0is\u00a0important that you sit your husband down and explain exactly how out of\u00a0order his mother was.<br>\nShe has given birth, so\u00a0she knows how badly she crossed the line, and she didn\u2019t care. It\u00a0was all about her. She took away a\u00a0precious experience and turned it\u00a0into a\u00a0source of\u00a0trauma. I\u00a0am so\u00a0sorry you went through this.\u00a0\u00a9\u00a0GrannyW3atherwax15\u00a0\/ Reddit\n\n<p>Family dynamics are complex and issues often arise. Patience is\u00a0key, but sometimes it\u00a0runs out. That\u2019s exactly what happened to\u00a0a\u00a0woman who had to\u00a0deal with her stepmom\u2019s hurtful antics for a\u00a0long time. She finally decided to\u00a0act on\u00a0it, but now her stepmom won\u2019t talk to\u00a0her, and she wants to\u00a0know whether she overreacted. So\u00a0she turned to\u00a0the internet for advice.\n</p><p>Preview photo credit lovelylittlebug \/ Reddit, DCStudio \/ Freepik\n\n\n\n\n\n</p><div class='\"a7a009a2bc69238836f2\"'>\n\n<div class='\"fe475c3f28885ceec1f1\"' tabindex='\"-1\"'>\n<div data-test-id='\"article-image-1\"'><picture class='\"b10992b7e7307cb7c32f\"'><source srcset='\"https:\/\/wl-brightside.cf.tsp.li\/resize\/728x\/webp\/bd5\/59a\/b431d053369d8bdb738f9655a5.jpg.webp' type='\"image\/webp\"'></source>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0Unfortunately, that had a negative impact on the birth and the woman now blames her husband for what happened. Still in shock, she turned to\u00a0social media\u00a0to\u00a0vent and ask for advice. \u00a9\u00a0DCStudio \/ Freepik She\u00a0wrote: \u201cI\u2019m still pretty shocked about what happened 4\u00a0days ago. I\u2019ve never got on\u00a0with my\u00a0mother-in-law and have probably met her about 10\u00a0times &hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":81534,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[657],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81533","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81533","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81533"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81533\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81535,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81533\/revisions\/81535"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/81534"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></picture></div></div></div></li></ul></div></div></aside></div></li></ul></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></picture></div></div></div></div></aside></div></a></p></div></div></form></div></div></div></div></section></div></div></div></div></picture></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></picture></div></div></div></div>