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\nWhat is a Narcissist?\n
For most of us, our first meaningful connection in life is with our mothers. Through her care, love, and support, we begin to form a sense of self-worth, confidence, and emotional intelligence. However, when parents are narcissistic, this developmental process can be severely disrupted.\n
But when that relationship is tainted with emotional toxicity or abuse, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. If you often remember hearing phrases like, \u201cWhy can\u2019t you be more like your brother?\u201d or \u201cDid I hurt your little feelings?\u201d or if you\u2019ve constantly thought, \u201cWhy am I never good enough?\u201d there\u2019s a chance you may have had a narcissistic mother.\n
The term narcissist is commonly used to describe someone overly self-absorbed. Like many personality traits, narcissism exists on a spectrum, with most people falling somewhere in the middle. At the extreme end, there\u2019s Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), marked by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a deep craving for attention, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy. Though NPD is rare and can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional, its impact can be profound.\n
Those with NPD may seem to exude confidence, but in truth, they have fragile self-esteem and are hypersensitive to criticism. This vulnerability drives them to seek out admiration and approval from others, often aligning themselves with people they deem special or superior.\n
People with NPD often exhibit characteristics such as:
\n\u2013 An inflated sense of self-importance
\n\u2013 Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, beauty, or ideal love
\n\u2013 A belief in their uniqueness, associating only with special people or institutions
\n\u2013 A constant need for admiration
\n\u2013 A sense of entitlement
\n\u2013 Exploiting others for personal gain
\n\u2013 A lack of empathy
\n\u2013 Envy of others or believing others envy them
\n\u2013 Arrogant or haughty behavior\n
These traits can disrupt personal relationships and impact career success, as those with NPD struggle to accept criticism. They may also be more prone to substance abuse, mood disorders, and impulsive behavior, all of which make treatment challenging but not impossible.\n
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Narcissistic mothers manifest their traits in various harmful ways, often invalidating their children\u2019s emotions and achievements. Instead of offering comfort, they dismiss their child\u2019s feelings, sometimes even labeling them as overly sensitive or dramatic. Over time, this manipulation leaves the child struggling to identify their emotions, constantly wondering, \u201cWill I ever be good enough?\u201d\n
A narcissistic mother craves validation and approval, often using guilt and shame to control her children. The child\u2019s efforts to impress her are never enough, as she always finds a way to diminish their self-worth.\n
According to Psychotherapist Lena Derhally, some common things a narcissistic mother might say include:
\n\u2013 \u201cThat never happened. You imagined it.\u201d
\n\u2013 \u201cYou should be more like [someone else]. They\u2019re so wonderful.\u201d
\n\u2013 \u201cWhy can\u2019t you just get over it already?\u201d
\n\u2013 \u201cYou\u2019re always so focused on your life, you never think about me.\u201d
\n\u2013 \u201cI do so much for you, and you never appreciate it.\u201d
\n\u2013 \u201cI\u2019m the only person who could ever truly love you.\u201d\n
A narcissistic mother often fosters sibling rivalry by favoring one child over another, creating competition and envy. This rivalry can damage the siblings\u2019 relationship, making one child feel perpetually unloved and inadequate.\n
For daughters, the competition can take a different form. Narcissistic mothers may view their daughters as threats and compete with them for attention, even from male family members. This dynamic undermines the daughter\u2019s self-worth and ability to form healthy relationships.\n
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Narcissistic mothers often see their children, especially daughters, as extensions of themselves. They attempt to control their appearance, relationships, and life choices, stifling the child\u2019s independence. Publicly, these mothers project an image of perfection\u2014appearing selfless, supportive, and accomplished\u2014while privately, they may be emotionally manipulative and unavailable.\n
Growing up with a narcissistic mother can have long-term consequences. Without maternal love and support, children often feel a deep emotional void, which may manifest in depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. As adults, they may struggle to form close relationships, constantly questioning their worth and seeking external validation.\n
Children raised by narcissistic mothers often become high achievers but never feel deserving of praise. They may be excessively self-critical, particularly about their appearance, and suffer from a persistent sense of self-doubt that hinders their personal and professional growth.\n
It\u2019s common for children of narcissistic parents to feel responsible for their parent\u2019s well-being, but it\u2019s important to remember that your mother\u2019s behavior is not your fault. Narcissism is a psychological disorder, and her actions stem from her own internal struggles\u2014not from any inadequacy on your part.\n
Healing from the emotional trauma of maternal narcissism takes time, but therapy can help. By working with a mental health professional, you can unlearn the harmful messages you received and start nurturing a healthier sense of self-worth and confidence.\n
Source: viralstrange\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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