{"id":87686,"date":"2024-11-01T10:38:32","date_gmt":"2024-11-01T03:38:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/?p=87686"},"modified":"2024-11-01T10:40:18","modified_gmt":"2024-11-01T03:40:18","slug":"i-demand-my-19-year-old-stepdaughter-to-babysit-my-house-is-not-a-free-hotel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/i-demand-my-19-year-old-stepdaughter-to-babysit-my-house-is-not-a-free-hotel\/","title":{"rendered":"I demand my 19-year-old stepdaughter to babysit \u2013 my house is not a free hotel"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2><strong>Here is Becky\u2019s letter\n<p><strong><em>My husband\u2019s daughter, 19, lives with us in my house. We have a 2 y.o., and we both work full-time. I asked her to babysit during the summer to reduce babysitting costs. She said, \u201cThat\u2019s not my job!\u201d I replied, \u201cThen start paying me rent or leave!\u201d My husband nodded.\n<p><strong><em>The next day, I froze when I entered home. I found my child\u2019s crib empty, and no one was home. Panicked, I called my husband. He told me he had rented a small studio and would be moving there with his daughter because I \u201ckicked her out.\u201d He said I could come get our baby, but he was staying with his daughter because she had no one else.\n<p><strong><em>I was furious and told him that his daughter grew up to be an entitled person who thinks my house is a free hotel.\n<p><strong><em>Now, it\u2019s been a week, and my husband hasn\u2019t come home. I don\u2019t know what to do.\n<p><strong><em>Was I wrong?\n<p><strong><em>Becky\n<p>Hello Becky! Thank you for sharing your story.\n</p><p>We\u2019ve prepared some tips that can help you navigate through this situation.\n</p><h2><strong>Communicate with empathy and set boundaries together\n<figure id='\"attachment_175558\"' class='\"wp-caption' alignnone aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-175558\"'><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-175558 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/timelesslife.info%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/10%5C/c823245239977b0208a7b6cb3b.jpg.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/c823245239977b0208a7b6cb3b.jpg.jpg' https: alt='\"\"' width='\"728\"' height='\"485\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-175558\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>For illustration purposes only\n<p>Instead of arguing over who is right or wrong, try to have a calm chat with your husband about why you felt obligated to seek his daughter for assistance and how her denial affected you.\n</p><p>Recognize his protective impulses toward his daughter while also expressing your need for assistance in managing the family. Suggest setting boundaries for his daughter\u2019s involvement and expectations at home so that both of you feel heard and respected.\n</p><h2><strong>Address the root of your husband\u2019s reaction\n<figure id='\"attachment_175557\"' class='\"wp-caption' alignnone aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-175557\"'><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-175557 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/timelesslife.info%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/10%5C/84714c5cddafcb5b133b596aac.jpg.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/84714c5cddafcb5b133b596aac.jpg.jpg' https: alt='\"\"' width='\"728\"' height='\"496\"' data-adbro-processed='\"true\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-175557\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>For illustration purposes only\n<p>Your husband\u2019s behavior appears to have been motivated by a deeper sense of guilt or protectiveness for his daughter. Instead of focusing entirely on your dissatisfaction with her, ask him why he immediately took her side. Was it because he believed she was vulnerable or alone?\n</p><p>Understanding his sentiments and motivations may allow you to tackle the issue with him in a way that does not feel like a direct attack on their relationship and opens the door to finding a solution that works for all three of you.\n</p><h2><strong>Offer a compromise to rebuild trust\n<figure id='\"attachment_175556\"' class='\"wp-caption' alignnone aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-175556\"'><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-175556 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/timelesslife.info%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/10%5C/9248ec5a01bed8b6ab2d1f7d90.jpg.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/9248ec5a01bed8b6ab2d1f7d90.jpg.jpg' https: alt='\"\"' width='\"728\"' height='\"485\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-175556\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>For illustration purposes only\n<p>Instead of taking a firm stance, provide a compromise that may bring everyone back together. For example, you may suggest that his daughter contribute in other ways, such as domestic duties or non-childcare obligations, while you and your husband look into alternative childcare options.\n</p><p>This would allow her to maintain her independence without feeling obligated to babysit. It may also demonstrate to your husband that you are willing to compromise to keep the family together.\n</p><h2><strong>Reevaluate your relationship and future needs\n<figure id='\"attachment_175555\"' class='\"wp-caption' alignnone aria-describedby='\"caption-attachment-175555\"'><img loading='\"lazy\"' decoding='\"async\"' class='\"size-full' wp-image-175555 src="%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/timelesslife.info%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2024%5C/10%5C/9fc2df5ef98f98e368ac4a5be2.jpg.jpg%5C%22" sizes='\"auto,' srcset='\"https:\/\/timelesslife.info\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/9fc2df5ef98f98e368ac4a5be2.jpg.jpg' https: alt='\"\"' width='\"728\"' height='\"485\"' title='\"\"'><figcaption id='\"caption-attachment-175555\"' class='\"wp-caption-text\"'>For illustration purposes only\n<p>After a week of separation, it may be time to truly consider how your husband\u2019s decisions are affecting your marriage and family. Consider what you need from him as a partner and how his preference for his daughter above your child and you affects the dynamic.\n</p><p>If he continues to ignore your worries, you should consider couples counseling or a short break-up. This may help both of you rethink your priorities, whether it\u2019s his daughter\u2019s entitlement, your expectations, or how you want to proceed as a family.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"</p><p>Here is Becky\u2019s letter My husband\u2019s daughter, 19, lives with us in my house. We have a 2 y.o., and we both work full-time. I asked her to babysit during the summer to reduce babysitting costs. She said, \u201cThat\u2019s not my job!\u201d I replied, \u201cThen start paying me rent or leave!\u201d My husband nodded. The &hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":87690,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[657,642],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-87686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-and-relationships","category-moral-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87686","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=87686"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87686\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87691,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/87686\/revisions\/87691"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/87690"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=87686"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=87686"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=87686"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}</p></figcaption></figure></strong></h2></figcaption></figure></strong></h2></figcaption></figure></strong></h2></figcaption></figure></strong></h2></em></strong></p></em></strong></p></em></strong></p></em></strong></p></em></strong></p></em></strong></p></strong></h2>