$\"\"$ \n

I was taken aback when James demanded that we divide all costs equally after his pay doubled. At his urging, I was working part-time, but I only consented if we put it in writing. He has no idea that my consent is the first step in a plan, not a capitulation.\n

I never imagined that I would be the type of woman who sacrifice her job for a man. And yet there I was, at our kitchen table, sitting across from James, listening to him explain why it was a good idea for me to work less hours.\n

Our daughter Emily was only three months old, and he painted such a compelling picture of our future together.\n

\u201cThink about it, Sarah,\u201d he said\n

\u201cWe\u2019re parents now, and I know you want to spend as much time with Emily as possible. Working part-time will let you do that.\u201d\n

\n
\u201cI know,\u201d I replied, \u201cbut I love my job, James. I\u2019m not sure I want to make such a drastic change at this point in my career.\u201d\n
$\"\"$ \n
Something in my gut told me this wasn\u2019t right, but I pushed the feeling aside.\n
\u201cWhat about my consulting projects? I\u2019ve spent years building these relationships.\u201d\n
\u201cThose will always be there,\u201d James assured me.\n
\n
\u201cBut these early years with Emily? We\u2019ll never get those back.\u201d\n
The following six years flew by as we took care of our home, picked up kids from school, and worked part-time as consultants.\n
However, I sensed that something was lacking. I stayed in touch with a lot of my former coworkers, and occasionally it was painful to hear of their promotions.\n
As I balanced everything else, James\u2019s career took off.\n
The night that altered everything then arrived. Excited, James rushed through the front door with a bottle of champagne in his hand.\n
\u201cI got it!\u201d he announced.\n
\u201cThe promotion. And wait until you hear the salary bump.\u201d\n
\u201cNow that I\u2019m making this kind of money, we need to formalize our financial arrangement,\u201d he said. \u201cI think it\u2019s only fair we split everything fifty-fifty from now on. Bills, groceries, the mortgage, everything.\u201d\n
I waited for the punchline, but it never came.\n
\u201cYou can\u2019t be serious, James. I only work part-time, remember? And it was your idea that I cut back my hours. I\u2019m already stretched thin managing the house and taking care of our daughter. How do you expect me to contribute equally?\u201d\n
He shrugged. \u201cIt\u2019s not my fault you chose to settle for less.\u201d\n
\n
\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t choose this,\u201d I reminded him. \u201cYou pushed for it.\u201d\n
\u201cYeah, but things are different now.\u201d\n
\u201cSo, let me get this straight: you want me to manage the house, raise our child, and still contribute half of everything?\u201d\n
\u201cIt\u2019s only fair,\u201d he replied. \u201cWe\u2019re a team, aren\u2019t we? And teams contribute equally.\u201d\n
But I found nothing. His eyes glinted with excitement, and he grinned at me like a kid on Christmas.\n
\u201cYou want fair?\u201d I muttered.\n
\u201cFine. I\u2019ll agree under one condition: we make it official. We\u2019ll draw up an agreement and have it notarized. Everything split right down the middle.\u201d\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a brilliant idea, honey!\u201d James\u2019s smile was all teeth.\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to have a busy day tomorrow, so why don\u2019t you sort out the paperwork and let me know when it\u2019s ready for me to sign?\u201d\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d I clenched my teeth into a smile and sipped my champagne.\n
\n
\n
\n
\n\n
$\"\"$ \n
The months that followed were enlightening. In little time at all, he began to treat me differently.\n
\u201cYou should see the people at these executive mixers,\u201d he said on one occasion, adjusting his expensive tie in the mirror.\n
\u201cI would if you let me join you,\u201d I replied stiffly.\n
James laughed. \u201cYou\u2019d stick out like a sore thumb at the country club! No offense, babe, but it\u2019s not the place for someone on your budget. Besides, it\u2019s not really your scene anymore. You wouldn\u2019t know what to talk about.\u201d\n
I smiled and nodded, watching him become increasingly insufferable. The breaking point came when he announced he\u2019d be attending an important networking event.\n
\u201cThe CEO is hosting a private mixer at that new restaurant in town everyone\u2019s been talking about\u2026\u201d he paused, glancing over at me with a frown. \u201cBut I guess you probably haven\u2019t heard of it considering your social circle.\u201d\n
\u201cAre you kidding me?\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m not living under a rock, James. When is this event? I\u2019d love to go. I heard the chef has an amazing reputation.\u201d\n
\u201cOh, you can\u2019t come with me. It\u2019s high-level stuff,\u201d he explained, patronizing as ever. \u201cYou\u2019d feel out of place.\u201d\n
I smiled faintly. \u201cI see\u2026 well, good luck with your networking.\u201d\n
Two weeks later, James came home looking shell-sh0cked. His expensive suit was wrinkled, his tie loose around his neck.\n
\u201cThey\u2019re demoting me,\u201d he said, collapsing onto the couch. \u201cMy position is being \u2018restructured,\u2019 apparently. But they didn\u2019t just put me back in my old role \u2014 they gave me an even lower position! My salary\u2019s worse than when I first started! It doesn\u2019t make any sense.\u201d\n
\n
\u201cActually, it makes perfect sense,\u201d I said quietly.\n
\u201cThat promotion? It came through my old network. Your boss, Mike, and I go way back. When I mentioned to him that my husband was looking to move up\u2026\u201d I let the words hang in the air.\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d\n
$\"\"$ \n
\u201cBut then, why have I been demoted?\u201d\n
\u201cIt\u2019s simple. I helped build your success, James. And when you showed me exactly who you are, I decided to take it back. And that\u2019s not all.\u201d\n
\u201cThis is ridiculous,\u201d he sputtered. \u201cIt\u2019s obvious this fifty-fifty split won\u2019t work anymore!\u201d\n
\u201cIf I made it work, I\u2019m sure you can, too,\u201d I replied.\n
The following two years were traumatic as we saw our marriage fall apart due to his bitterness. James was unable to cope with the role reversal and couldn\u2019t bear to watch me thrive while he struggled.\n
That previous arrangement he had pressed for came back to haunt him once more when we eventually signed the divorce papers.\n
\n
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