![\"\"](%5C%22https:%5C/%5C/echowoven.com%5C/wp-content%5C/uploads%5C/2025%5C/01%5C/475015576_937337471947860_6570917918836508708_n.png%5C%22 "\\"\\"")
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There is no better remedy than laughter, and who doesn’t enjoy a nice joke to make their day? You’ll laugh out loud at these 12 jokes about children, animals, and oddball events in life. Unwind and take pleasure in a selection of humor that is both varied and amusing.\n Late one night, a burglar crept into a house, trying his best to remain unnoticed. Just as he tiptoed through the living room, a thunderous voice shattered the silence: “Jesus is watching you!”\n Startled, he froze in place. Heart pounding, he waited, but when nothing happened, he cautiously resumed his steps.\n Once again, the voice boomed, “Jesus is watching you!”\n This time, he panicked and frantically scanned the room. His eyes landed on a parrot perched inside a cage.\n \u201cWas that you?\u201d he asked, pointing at the bird.\n \u201cYes,\u201d the parrot replied, tilting its head.\n Relieved, the burglar let out a breath and chuckled. \u201cWhat\u2019s your name?\u201d\n \u201cMoses,\u201d the parrot answered.\n The burglar snorted. \u201cMoses? What kind of fool names a parrot Moses?\u201d\n With a squawk, the parrot shot back, \u201cThe same fool who named the Rottweiler Jesus.\u201d\n \n One day, two boys were sitting under a nut tree near a cemetery, dividing a large bucket of nuts between them. Some of the nuts had spilled out and rolled close to the cemetery fence, but the boys ignored those for the moment as they focused on their task.\n \u201cOne for you, one for me,\u201d they chanted, their voices echoing in the quiet.\n As fate would have it, a boy riding his bike nearby heard the rhythmic voices. Convinced he\u2019d stumbled upon something otherworldly, he whispered to himself, \u201cIt\u2019s Satan and St. Peter dividing souls!\u201d Terrified, he pedaled down the road to find help and encountered an old man sitting on a porch.\n \u201cYou have to come! They\u2019re dividing souls at the cemetery!\u201d the boy cried.\n Intrigued and slightly skeptical, the old man reluctantly hobbled over with him. As they approached the fence, the chilling chant continued: \u201cOne for you, one for me\u2026\u201d\n Shivering, the old man murmured, \u201cDear Lord, it\u2019s true!\u201d\n But before they could flee, one of the boys called out, \u201cNow let\u2019s grab the ones by the fence!\u201d\n Legend has it the old man managed to make it back to town five minutes before the terrified boy.\n \n While attending a conference overseas, a man received the exciting news that his wife had just given birth to twins. Thrilled, he called her immediately.\n \u201cWho took you to the hospital?\u201d he asked.\n \u201cYour brother, Joe,\u201d she replied. \u201cSince I was under anesthesia, he also named the babies.\u201d\n The man froze. \u201cJoe?! He\u2019s terrible with names! What did he call them?\u201d\n \u201cWell,\u201d she said, \u201che named the girl Deniece.\u201d\n The man sighed in relief. \u201cThat\u2019s not too bad. What about the boy?\u201d\n \u201cHe named him De-nephew.\u201d\n A farmer strolled into a lawyer\u2019s office and declared, \u201cI want a divorce.\u201d\n The lawyer, curious, asked, \u201cWhat grounds do you have?\u201d\n \u201cAbout 140 acres,\u201d the farmer answered matter-of-factly.\n The lawyer sighed. \u201cNo, I mean, do you have a grudge?\u201d\n \u201cSure do. That\u2019s where I park my tractor.\u201d\n Trying not to lose patience, the lawyer asked, \u201cIs there any reason at all why you want a divorce?\u201d\n The farmer scratched his head and replied, \u201cWell, we can\u2019t ever have a meaningful conversation.\u201d\n \n One day, a frog decided to call a psychic hotline to get a glimpse of his future.\n To his delight, the psychic said, \u201cIn the near future, you\u2019ll meet a beautiful young woman. She\u2019ll be utterly captivated by you and will want to know everything about you.\u201d\n Excited, the frog asked, \u201cWhere will I meet her? At a party? Maybe she\u2019ll walk past my home?\u201d\n The psychic hesitated for a moment before responding, \u201cActually\u2026 you\u2019ll meet her in her biology class next semester.\u201d\n \n A man in Amsterdam went to confession and admitted, \u201cFather, during World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic.\u201d\n \u201cThat\u2019s not a sin,\u201d the priest assured him. \u201cYou provided shelter to someone in need.\u201d\n The man hesitated, then added, \u201cBut I charged him 20 Gulden a week.\u201d\n The priest frowned but said, \u201cWhile that wasn\u2019t entirely right, you still saved his life.\u201d\n Relieved, the man let out a deep breath. \u201cThank you, Father. I feel so much better. But\u2026 do I have to tell him the war is over?\u201d\n Mark showed up at work with both ears bright red and sore.\n A curious coworker asked, \u201cWhat happened to you?\u201d\n Mark sighed and explained, \u201cI was ironing while watching TV, and when the phone rang, I accidentally picked up the iron instead.\u201d\n \u201cOkay\u2026 but what about the other ear?\u201d\n \u201cThe guy called back.\u201d\n \n An elderly couple entered a fast-food restaurant and ordered a single burger with a small serving of fries. After sitting down, they carefully divided everything in half\u2014the burger, the fries, and even the drink.\n A trucker sitting nearby felt sorry for them and offered to buy the wife her own meal.\n The husband politely declined, saying, \u201cOh no, thank you. We share everything.\u201d\n Moments later, the trucker noticed that while the husband was eating, the wife hadn\u2019t touched a single bite. Concerned, he asked, \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you eating?\u201d\n She replied sharply, \u201cBecause I\u2019m waiting for the teeth!\u201d\n \n A vampire bat flew back to his cave, his face smeared with blood. The other bats swarmed him, eager to know where he found it.\n \u201cFine,\u201d he said, \u201cfollow me.\u201d\n He led them through a dense forest, finally stopping near a large tree.\n \u201cDo you see that tree?\u201d he asked.\n \u201cYES!\u201d the others shouted in unison.\n \u201cGood,\u201d the bat replied. \u201cBecause I didn\u2019t!\u201d\n A man opening a new business was thrilled when he received a bouquet of flowers to celebrate the occasion. His excitement quickly turned to confusion when he read the card: \u201cDeepest Sympathy.\u201d\n He called the florist to complain. \u201cThere\u2019s been a mistake,\u201d he said.\n The florist was horrified. \u201cI\u2019m so sorry! Your card must\u2019ve gone to the funeral home by accident.\u201d\n The man asked, \u201cWhat did their card say?\u201d\n The florist hesitated before replying, \u201cCongratulations on your new location.\u201d\n \n A lawyer named Strange ordered a tombstone with the inscription: \u201cHere lies an honest man and a lawyer.\u201d\n The stonecutter objected. \u201cIt\u2019s illegal to bury two people in one grave. But I can write: \u2018Here lies an honest lawyer.\u2019\u201d\n The lawyer frowned. \u201cHow will anyone know it\u2019s me?\u201d\n The stonecutter smirked and said, \u201cDon\u2019t worry. People will read it and say, \u2018That\u2019s Strange.\u2019\u201d\n \n A Texas farmer found himself in hell after passing away. Surprisingly, he seemed completely unfazed by the heat and even smiled.\n The Devil, puzzled, asked, \u201cWhy are you so happy?\u201d\n The farmer replied, \u201cThis feels just like a hot June day back home when I\u2019m working in the fields.\u201d\n Annoyed, the Devil cranked the temperature up to 105\u00b0F with suffocating humidity. Yet, the farmer still didn\u2019t flinch.\n Frustrated, the Devil tried a different approach and froze hell over, dropping the temperature to a frigid -10\u00b0F.\n To his shock, the farmer began jumping around and cheering.\n \u201cNow what are you celebrating?\u201d the Devil demanded.\n The farmer yelled, \u201cThe Cowboys must\u2019ve won the Super Bowl!\u201d\n From clever parrots to mischievous bats and witty farmers, these stories bring laughter to any situation. Share them with those around you and brighten someone\u2019s day\u2014because a good laugh is always worth it!\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There is no better remedy than laughter, and who doesn’t enjoy a nice joke to make their day? You’ll laugh out loud at these 12 jokes about children, animals, and oddball events in life. Unwind and take pleasure in a selection of humor that is both varied and amusing. The Parrot and the Burglar Late …\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":97736,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[676,1439],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-97735","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes","category-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97735","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/31"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=97735"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97735\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":97741,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97735\/revisions\/97741"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/97736"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=97735"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=97735"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/echowoven.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=97735"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The Parrot and the Burglar\n
The Nutty Cemetery Mix-Up\n
The Twin Naming Fiasco\n
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\nThe Farmer\u2019s Divorce Dilemma\n
The Frog\u2019s Unfortunate Prediction\n
The Never-Ending War\n
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\nThe Iron Phone Incident\n
Sharing is Caring\n
The Blind Bat\n
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\nThe Florist\u2019s Card Mix-Up\n
The Honest Lawyer\n
The Farmer in Hell\n